I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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