Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
