I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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