After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
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