Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Man, only now that I'm single is it painfully obvious that I have zero booty calls in waiting. This could be a cold winter
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Randomize
