i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
Randomize
