...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize
