Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
and she was petting her beer can
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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