You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
