I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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