Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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