just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
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