If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
mondays should just be called national damage control day
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
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