she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Sorry my hands just texted you
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize
