Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
When I look at old family photos I know how jessica simpson feels when she watches dukes of hazzard
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Randomize
