I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
