Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Randomize
