ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
Randomize
