Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Randomize
