My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
