Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
