I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
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