He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
