Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Terrible idea I love it
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Randomize
