And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Fun holiday story for you: Alex and I went out drinking. She left. I needed a ride home. Met this dude and told him to drive my car back. Once at my house, I made him take out my dog and then apologized for not wanting to make out with him. I said, let me go see if my roommate is interested and then I slept in Alex's bed all night.
20 bucks says he was an actual leprechaun
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
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