so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
How naked do you want me to be?
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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