It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
