Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
