great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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