yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
the bruise you left on my ass looks like africa. the other just looks like a hand.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
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