he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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