you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
But then our conversations are like black box recordings. Just the stuff you hear when the plane is going down
Randomize
