I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Randomize
