If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
