he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Randomize
