I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
I will turn myself into a beacon of get at me bro
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
