Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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