He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
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