Everything about him screamed your future.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
tell me why there is a bowl of oatmeal from starbucks in my purse
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
