I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
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