She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
