I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
it glows. i had to have it.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
He ran over from the bar to give me more singles because the stripper was doing gymnastics on me. He is a really great friend, just probably not the best boyfriend.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
Randomize
