the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
