dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
