You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I woke up to a head of lettuce on my nightstand, someones Honda abandoned in my yard, the cat partially shaved, and a empty bottle of sailor hanging by a scarf from the rafters. Oh, and 26 people apparently came though and rubbed my back in the process of the night. Happy 23rd to me!
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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