Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i had to do the walk of shame dressed as a leprechaun. I have never been more proud of my irish roots.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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