I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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