I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Randomize
