okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
so when we were booking the hotel and plane tickets for vegas we reserved a chapel for someone, it's inevitable.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
