her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
